Timperley Report

Posted by Colin Pearson on 27 March 2017

A depleted over 40s side headed to Timperley looking for their first win or, hopefully, an early exit to ease aching limbs.

Poor scheduling meant that the tournament was played this year on Mother's Day so many players had to choose between their love of hockey and love of their Mum. Ten of us disastrously chose the former.

Due to our low numbers, the Saturday night hydration session was necessarily held in a less exuberant manner than in previous years, and everyone took to the field on Sunday appearing relatively conscious.

The first game against Merseysiders Bebington was hilariously bad-tempered, ending in an unusual three-cheers from the opposition of "hip-hip-cheats". It didn't help that the game was officiated by umpires of almost Preece-like imcompetence (sorry Bob). Anyway we won 2-0 so all was well that ends well.

Shockingly the mighty ten men also won the second game, taking an early 2-0 lead and looking dominant. The realisation we might make the semi-final led to a desperate attempt to throw away the win, especially from just-turned-40 Mike Birch who with great skill played the ball onto his own foot, held up his hands and allowed the opposition a free shot on goal. Despite our best effort we won the game 2-1.

In the final group game we finally mastered the art of losing, against hosts Timperley, by conceding 6 goals against the 4 we scored. A quirk of the scoring system meant we finished third in our group and happily set off for home.

Thanks to all those who played. As there were only ten I'll mention them by name. Dillworth (surprisingly sober) Rhys (viscious) Birchy (last days of freedom) Tutton (nobody knows why he's there) Rob (it's a long way to Brewood) Roberts (goal machine) Tibble (even more of a goal machine) Jandu (can't score to save his life) Pearson (I nearly had that one) and man of the tournament Kam (played well until upset by off-pitch heckles).

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