1st Team Vs Kings Heath Pickwick

Date 7 November 2015
Team 1st Team
Opposition Kings Heath Pickwick
Fixture Away
Venue The Woodrush High School Shawhurst Lane Hollywood. B47 5JW
Start time 13:15
Result D 2 - 2
Time played
Match Report

And so it was, on an otherwise gloomy Saturday afternoon that the clouds parted in almost biblical style and the Lord's light shone down on an apocalyptic battle of good versus evil.

The four horsemen of the apocalypse appeared (Ward,Humpherson, Birch, Cartwright) their eyes turned a demonic red to repel to Kings Heathens for the last 70 minutes of Revelation. Heathens attempted a one on one David vs Goliath (Pearson) but David's sling was no match for Goliath's mighty weapon and thus he was smote.

Satan himself manifest in the form of Richard Cartwright to speak in tongues to the sub's bench, but the holy Old Wulfs were to later be confounded by Father Tiresius (umpire's assessor).

Heathens then sounded the seven trumpets and struck a blow for the forces of evil from a penalty corner. An inspired half-time team talk was required; "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison my brothers.." were some of the words not said.

And thus Ward struck back with a hammerblow of a strike from a penalty corner to confine the Heathens to a fiery lake of burning sulfur.

A second miracle then occurred. Jandu began to pass the ball. All fell to their knees in rapture and prayed for a third. Which then also occurred as the angel Gabriel had arrived in the form of Andy Peters. Peters and Jandu cast a plague upon the Heathens and with a flourish played a one-two for Jandu to score his first goal for the 1sts.

The gates of the kingdom of heaven were ajar, but Wulfs then began to smite their enemies and were thrown into a lake of fire by the umpires (5 green cards and 2 yellow) who had been tainted and even tried to punish Litchfield for crossing the halfway line on our own penalty corner. Even the normally holy Ablard had been cursed with a yellow after attempting to disembowel a Heathen.

As glory approached, the Heathens cruelly scored an equaliser to cast humanity back into the valley of darkness.

At least a point raises Wulfs above the ultimate evil that is... Wolverhampton.

Name Squad number Position Scored Assists Cards
Colin Pearson 1 Goalkeeper
Alan Brown 2 Defender
Matthew Griffiths 3 Midfielder
Ben Humpherson 5 Defender
Darryl Ablard 7 Midfielder
William Ashworth 14 Forward
Matthew Litchfield 19 Midfielder
Simon Palmer 22 Defender
Richard Roberts 28 Midfielder
David Cartwright 69 Defender